Letting go
by Grisslover
Summary: Sara was determined to let him go.
1. Chapter 1

Hello again, my friends.

I apologize to all since I had to delete and repost the story. It was a matter of privacy, but everything is fine now. Thank you for your patience.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They are property of CBS Television.**

Sara was leaving the CSI building when a quiet sound caught her attention. Two women speaking softly, almost inaudible: Grissom and Sofia, dinner…

She was in bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking about the image she couldn't shake off, Grissom and Sofia having dinner together, laughing and looking at each other eyes. It was unbearable.

Grissom wasn't her partner, not even a friend now. But she felt he had been unfaithful, she felt betrayed. It was a dull pain in the center of her chest, pressing through it, her breathing scarce, a broken heart. She was now aware of the meaning of that phrase.

She hated the knowing that the only guy she thought was worth her tears, was not interested in her feelings at all. It was too painful to let him go. She was in love with him but he behaved as if they were strangers.

The next hours were blurry. What should she do? Call in sick? Ignore the rumors and confirm them later?

She came to the conclusion that work wasn't going to be affected because of her emotional state. She was sure nobody would notice her pain. However difficult would be seeing Grissom and Sofia together, she wouldn't let them know.

She was determined to let him go.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sara arrived to work the others were already in the break room waiting for Grissom to give the assignments of the night.

Although she was hurting, she took special care on her appearance. Her hair was shiny and curly, and the clothes were selected with a purpose. She wanted to feel attractive, to strengthen her resolution.

Greg startled her with an appreciative whistle meanwhile Sofia arched a brow when she entered the room. Sara was polite sending a small smile to Greg and nodding at Sofia. But she never thought her little effort would catch Grissom's attention.

His eyes were wide open with a gleeful shine that lit up his handsom face. Sara looked straight at him and was surprised with his subtle smile. Her heart was pounding in an abnormal pace, but she maintained a calm expression on the outside. If she was playing a part, she was going to be the better actress. She smiled back at him unaware of the pain showing in her eyes.

Sara's eyes were his undoing. She showed every feeling, every disappointment, through her beautiful brown eyes. His heart was bound to those eyes, but his brain tampered with his feelings.

 _Be careful, Gil. She is young, indomitable and beautiful ... She could shatter your perfectly controlled life. Don't risk your career. Don't fall in love._

Grissom managed to finish the shift without an awkward encounter with Sofia. Certainly he asked her to dinner, but she was not what he expected. She talked too much and was flirting constantly with him. He felt uncomfortable in her presence.

And there was Sara. He was certain she heard the rumors about his date with Sofia. Surprisingly, he felt like an unfaithful husband. He was having regrets.

Sara was concentrated working on some pieces of plastic laying over the evidence table. She was eager to finish the shift and go home without having to talk to Grissom again.

But she wasn't that lucky. She never was.


	3. Chapter 3

She knew it was him. Sara kept working with the evidence spread on the table, waiting for Grissom to say something. Even though he paused at the door for a long time, she didn't acknowledge his presence. If he wanted something, eventually he would ask her whatever he needed to know.

Meanwhile, Grissom was observing her young employee with respect and admiration. Sara always worked the evidence in a beautiful manner; effectively gathering and organizing pieces of cloth, plastic, documents; creating a story that eventually resemble the crime committed. She was an excellent CSI, the best of the unit. He remembered her first year in Vegas, how passionate and enthusiast she was. What happened to Sara Sidle?

"Sara, did you find something probative?" Grissom spoke in a soft manner as he walked toward the table. He knew Sara wasn't finished, but he wanted to talk to her.

Sara looked directly at him as she stated the obvious response to his question.

"I haven't finished sorting the evidence. Do you need something?"

"Yes, Sara, would you please come to my office before going home? he asked her.

When she agreed with a nod, Grissom left the room. She knew in her heart she would have to be strong to be able to speak with him without revealing too much. The heartache was still there, but the pain was lesser somehow. At a young age, she learned to live on her own in spite of significant disappointments. She would be fine without Grissom.

Sara waited for Grissom's recognition before entering his office. He made a gesture with his hands indicating to sit at the couch and wait for him. He came back a few minutes later with two cups of coffee, extending one cup as a peace offering.

She took the cup in her hands and thanked him. She needed something to keep her busy and calmed her nerves. His office was always a comfort place for her. She used it as a space of solace when she needed to think, or simply rest. At the present time she wasn't allowed to share her thoughts with him anymore. He wasn't her friend. The sorrow carried on that sentence was unbearable. She loved their early friendship, she cherished their conversations. But it was over.

"Are you okay, Sara? You seem a little distracted?

"I am tired, Griss. I need to go home and rest, that's all I need."

"I'm sorry to keep you here, but I need to talk to you, Sara. This may come as a surprise to you, but Sofia presented her resignation as a CSI last night."

" As a CSI, meaning what? asked Sara with an astonished expression on her face. Definitely, it was a surprise.

" She will continue to work at the Police Department."

Sara's mind was running wild. The pieces of the puzzle were slowly connecting leaving her heart with a dull pain. Sofia was leaving CSI, she wouldn't be his employee, therefore nothing would keep them to pursue a romantic relationship. She remained quiet expecting the next blow.

"Sofia is a great investigator, she will be an excellent detective." Grissom regretted the words spoken as soon as he looked at her and a flash of something akin to sadness passed through Sara's eyes.

" Sara … "

" I don't know why Im here.I'm sure you will cover the position as soon as possible. Let me know if you need me to work additional hours. Good night"

She started to walk slowly, when she heard Grissom's voice.

"I am not dating Sofia"

She turned around and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Good night, take care."


	4. Chapter 4

Sara managed to arrive to her apartment without falling apart. When she knew about Grissom and Sofia's dinner, she was numb. She did not cry. Her mother always told her to be strong. She always said: "crying does nothing to solve the situation", that the action itself was useless. Therefore, she never cried in front of her parents. Growing up she never felt protected by her mother around her father's explosive, abusive behavior. Her mother always seemed to dismiss or diminish her hurt and take her father's side, no matter how poorly she was treated. This, in some ways, was more painful for her than her father's abuse. But she was now ready to let the sorrow engulf her. Allowing herself to feel her grief and acknowledging its presence took the focus off them and back to her.

In some strange way, she felt that Grissom's actions were similar to her mother's lack of care. She was abandoned by the only person she considered her friend. She felt used; she lost so much time waiting for him. When she met him 4 years ago she was convinced the attraction was mutual. As soon as the conference finished, she started asking all the questions flashing on her mind. They spent the day together and she never stopped talking.

Talking to Grissom was easy, but later everything changed. They didn't talk anymore, and he became a distant figure. Things started to change but deep inside she hoped he was still there, with her. But eventually she realized the truth of his actions; he wasn't interested. It was time to start living without expectations of a future with Gil Grissom.

At the same time, Grissom was at home thinking about the foolish decision he took and how this incident affected her relationship with the only person he ever loved: Sara. They were attracted to each other since the day they met at the conference. At first, he thought it was infatuation she would outgrow, but she did not stop showing interest in him without being affected with the advances of fellow students and some lecturers, too. They started a friendship and finally he asked her to come to Vegas. Then it was hell. He was unpleasant to keep her at distance, and when she stopped chasing, he felt relieved. He was an arrogant idiot who hurt her. Grissom knew he would have to beg for a new opportunity.

But after years of longing and self-control he knew it was time for a commitment. He was in love with Sara and he was going to fight for her.

The first ring was loud, but the second and third were louder and Sara couldn't ignore anymore that someone was waiting for her at the door. When she realized it was Grissom, she opened the locks without hesitation. And what a surprise was waiting for her…

Grissom was standing there looking so adorable, dressed in a white polo and a pair of blue jeans. She was always affected by his presence. Her body simply reacted at the sight of him with unexpected sensations like shivers, dry mouth, lost thoughts and over talking.

In spite of his actions, Sara knew she would love Gil Grissom forever.


	5. Chapter 5

She opened the door and let him enter after he asked politely.

The room was filled with sunlight and the soft music she selected a few minutes before, created a relaxed ambiance. She waited for him to address the reason for the unusual visit, because it was his turn to make an effort.

But it was a long wait. Seated on her living room Grissom wondered about Sara's motive to move in an unknown city after his invitation, a few years ago. However hard the first years in Vegas were for her, she did not show any sign of regret.  
Her apartment was beautiful and very inviting. She had created a comforting space, full of life. Pictures of her coworkers and friends were placed on specific areas of the living room, making him wonder if she kept the only picture they took together in Boston when they first met.

Sara was seated across him silently drinking a cup of tea. She offered, but he declined; remaining in the same position lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly, he started talking. He looked calmed, but at the same time he had an aura of uneasiness.

"I am sure you are surprised to see me here. I surprised myself. I have to talk to you and it was not possible to do it at work."

She did not answer. Nothing Grissom could possibly say, was going to change her resolution. It was already too late.

"I can't seem to find the right words, Sara. But I know I owe you an apology".

Finally she reacted: a shadow of sadness passed through those beautiful brown eyes, letting him know she was not immune to his actions.

"You don't owe me anything." She said with controlled anger.

"I do. Please, let me finish. The last months have been awkward for us. We used to be very good friends but something changed. I know its my fault, Sara. But I want to show you a new me, maybe the Gil Grissom you knew before, the person hidden behind your boss."

"I'm sorry Grissom. Maybe a few months ago, I would jump at this offer. But finally, after many disappointments, I decided that chasing after you was not how I envisioned my life, certainly not my future. It's easy to say sorry, it's harder to spend the time to understand why you have hurt someone who was always there for you. I can't go back."

Grissom stood dumbfounded for a few minutes. He felt a pang of regret thinking about all the things he had done to contribute to Sara's resentful feelings. He decided to leave and wait for another opportunity to speak with her. He was not going to back up now.

"I understand how you feel, Sara. It was my choice to hide my feelings for you, to push you away and to imply I wasn't interested in what you had to offer. I can only say that I realized I need you in my life."

"It was always you, you know. I made decisions counting on you, you were my center. But it was you who decided for me. I was too young, I wasn't possibly be faithful to you. I can't go on like this anymore. I wish you well, I really do. I can be your friend, but please don't ask for anything else. I don't trust you with my heart."

"Im sorry for everything I did, Sara.I hope you can forgive me."

He left and Sara stood in her living room realizing she was starting another chapter in her life. She was ready to let him go, but she was certain that she wasn't ready to move on yet.


	6. Chapter 6

The next weeks passed at a fast pace. Focused on her work, Sara was not interested in the activities of her boss and certain detective. But she could not avoid the rumors about them. There were restrained conversations in the lab, the gossipers were at full mode. Apparently, Sofia had come back to strengthen their relationship, they were thinking of moving together. How do the lab rats knew those facts? She was thinking that maybe they were better CSIs than her.

She was not surprised about the rumors. She did not believe them, that said, she found them amusing. On the other hand, she was hurt by Grissom's reaction. Sara expected Grissom would act in a defensive manner like he did in the past, because it was his "modus operandi". And he did it. After their short conversation at the apartment, he was confined in his own world.

But if their relationship was difficult before, the current status was insufferable. He became more distant, working less time with her, never saying anything personal, but still watching her closely. She would caught him glancing at her with a look of yearning …for what seemed like no reason. Sara wondered why it can seem like a man just doesn't care about your relationship and where it's headed… even though you know that somewhere deep down he does love and care about you? She answered her own question; Grissom was emotionally unavailable. He was a lost cause.

Greg was waiting anxiously for Sara at the lab. He was barely holding his excitement at the information he received recently. Unaware of the assignment, cause she was late to work that night, Sara arrived at the break room. Grissom looked at her acknowledging her presence with a nod, then he informed the crew that Greg and Sara were required to assist to a series of conferences at the University over the next week. The Department was paying for the courses and they were not required to come to work the night shift for the duration of the conferences.

 _Great!_ _A week without any interaction with Grissom!_ Sara was thrilled about the courses, hanging out with Greg was a bonus. Greg was the only person she could trust, who stood by her side after the altercation with Catherine. Initially she thought Grissom was going to change his attitude toward her, but it didn't last long. She would always cherished their conversations, but it was time to accept he was not interested in keeping their friendship alive.

They arrived to UNLV early. The first conference was titled _Genetic Influence on Criminal Behavior._ It was the main seminar of the week and the speaker was a Dr. Robert Pattinson, geneticist and pathologist graduated from Harvard University.

As soon as Dr. Pattinson started speaking, Sara was fascinated with his knowledge about the theme. He was a 67 years old man, very handsome and charming. During his discourse he said something Sara found somewhat disturbing. She was feeling uncomfortable and Greg was starting to notice. Hopefully, the session would end soon.

"Researchers estimate that at least 100 studies have shown that genes play a role in crimes".

Dr. Pattinson finished with those words and then he asked for questions or their opinions about the presentation. As soon as the formal discussion started, Sara stood up and left the room. Greg followed her sensing something wasn't right. He caught up with her at the parking lot. Then he realized she was crying. Sara Sidle was crying in front of him.

"Come here. Lets go somewhere ."

Tenderly, Greg pushed her close to his chest. Greg's display of concern and affection was the key that opened the door of Sara's emotional response. Sara could not stop the tears, sobbing uncontrollably into Greg's arms. When she was calmed, she looked at him with watery eyes and nodded, giving an answer to his initial request to go elsewhere.

He started to drive to a vegetarian restaurant he saw on the road. He felt saddened at the sight of Sara crying. Greg had great respect and admiration for his friend; he always knew Sara was a strong woman who had a tender heart under the gruff exterior. But he also realized Sara carried a secret, something in her past she was not ready to share with him. He was a good listener, he would wait for her. They would talk later.


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting at the last table at the back of the room, Greg and Sara were talking calmly while enjoying the food. The waitress who was working their table looked at them with interest. They seemed to be a couple. At least, she was sure the young man was attracted to his beautiful companion. She was not a classic beauty, but she carried her body with poise. Her smile was her most attractive feature and she used it very well. She could see the glow on the man's face when the sound of her soft laugh filled the room. Yep, he liked her.

"Greg, that's not nice. Hodges would not appreciate your crude analysis of the crush he has on Grissom".

Her eyes were softly glazed with a hint of humor, maybe forgetting for now the reason that brought them to the restaurant. He knew she was still sad, but his efforts to bring back her beautiful smile were rewarded when she started making fun of Hodges.

"You know it is true, Sara. Grissom is a god to him. Hodges is at his service, no matter what Grissom asks".

"Yeah, she said in a wistful tone. Didn't we agree with Hodges when we first met the great Dr. Grissom? I certainly did."

"Not me, Sara. If you ask me, I'll say you are "The Goddess."

He spoke with a reverence he usually did not display, expressing how he felt trying to let her know how precious she was for him.

Greg was convinced that Grissom was the cause of her recent dark mood. He had noticed how Sara look at their boss and was certain Grissom felt the same way. But it was more complicated than a simple physical attraction.

Sara smiled shyly,uncertain of the tone of the conversation. The last thing she wanted was an awkward scene with Greg. She loved him very much, but her heart was not ready to anything romantic, even if it was coming from Greg.

He continued with his musings, unaware of Sara's reticence.

"You taught me everything I know and never lost your patience with my inane questions. You are a good friend and one day I know you will be a great boss, better than Grissom. Oh great Obi-Wan."

Sara couldn't contain her laughter thanking him for his consideration. She knew Greg was trying to cheer her up.

"Thank you Greg, I truly appreciate your words. But if being a Supervisor is in my future, I am sure I have to leave Vegas or wait for Catherine's retirement, and at the rate she is aging, I'll wait forever".

Greg was pleased with her friendly banter, sensing that Sara's mind was at ease and she was in a better mood.

The waitress interrupted their conversation placing the cups on the table and pouring coffee while asking if they wanted anything else.

Greg answered some pleasantries to the girl thanking her for the service and she left to attend the other customers.

Sara realized she could not wait any longer to address the reason of her sudden departure from the conference and worst of all, her unusual display of emotion in front of Greg.

She was very nervous but decided to start talking feeling a sense of relief when her first words were out of her mouth.

"Greg , what I am going to tell you is very private to me. I trust that you would not tell anyone about it." Greg nodded accepting Sara's proposal.

"I was a foster child for a short period of time, before my early admission at Harvard. My mother stabbed my father to death when I was 12 years old. He was abusive and I guess that night was the last time my mother allowed him to beat her. She was a good mother to me and my brother, but she was trapped in a vicious circle of love and hate. "

Greg was stunned by Sara's confession. He never thought the secret Sara kept for herself all this years was so shocking. He composed himself to avoid she could see in his eyes the horror he was feeling.

"Where is your brother? He asked compassionately.

Sara smiled softly.

"He is doing very well working in Washington DC . We connected a few years ago and agreed to travel once a year to meet each other, sometimes he comes here to Vegas and sometimes I go to DC."

"That's great, Sara. Its good that you were able to find each other and stay in touch."

"Greg, I'm sorry for earlier. I thought of my mother's reaction to years of abuse and realized that in a desperate situation I could kill a human being like she did."

"I understand your feelings, Sara. It's hard to put behind the bad memories and the fears that stayed with you all this years. But I have to tell you in my opinion, no matter how bad the situation, you'll never kill anybody, not even a cockroach."

GReg spoke with great conviction and she felt the truth in his words.

"Thank you, Greg". The smile she gave him was the brightest smile he have ever received from Sara.

Meanwhile, at the lab, Grissom was signing the last document of the pile on his desk when he noticed a shadow passing through the hall. The person stood in front of his door and he groaned internally.

" Please, come in and close the door, Sofia."


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Sofia closed the door, Grissom put the papers aside, getting ready for the conversation he dreaded so much. He had heard the rumors about them. Although they weren't true, he was convinced a conversation with Sofia was necessary to clarify them.

The truth was he was not interested in pursuing a relationship with Sofia, but he knew she was attracted to him. He wasn't oblivious to the romantic subtleties. He simply chose to ignore it.

" Thank you for coming tonight, Sofia. I think you know why I called you."

Grissom's words were short and cautious, he did not want to give a wrong impression.

" It is my pleasure, Gil". She spoke in a sultry tone that make him feel uncomfortable.

" Sofia, the reason I asked you here, is to discuss the rumors that are running through the lab."

Grissom felt her eyes on him. He looked up slightly to see Sofia looking amused.

" I suppose you know the entire lab is planning our wedding." She said with a disarming confidence drawling the words in a foreign accent he couldn't decipher.

Sofia's accent caught his interest when he first met her, but not anymore. Some times he found it annoying.

" Yeah, it's not the first time. I am sorry if you are involved in this situation. I apologize." Grissom smiled to minimize the impact of his words.

He hoped she could understand clearly the meaning of his words. It was a delicate situation, he did not want to embarrassed her.

"Don't worry, Gil. I am a big girl. I understand a dinner date is not a marriage proposition. Hopefully we can explore this relationship a little bit more and see where it goes."

Sofia noticed he was apprehensive, she did not want to push him. They haven't slept together, but she was emotionally involved and the chemistry between them was intense. If giving Gil more time was necessary, she was willing to wait.

Grissom was squirming on the chair, very uncomfortable with the way the conversation was turning. He resolved to be honest with her.

"Look Sofia, I am not interested in you in a romantic manner. The dinner was a casual impulse, you expressed your frustrations about Ecklie and both of us were hungry. I am sorry if you thought otherwise."

Her red face was the indication he needed to realize he has said something wrong. She looked confused.

Sofia could not understand what had happened. She always thought Gil was interested in her; he flirted back, he laughed at her stupid jokes. Something has changed.

" Oh, I understand. I think I am going to go home now. See you later." There was a catch in Sofia's voice. She hurried to the door and walked away leaving Gil Grissom feeling like a jerk.

He felt bad for Sofia but he couldn't lead her to something he could not deliver. Even though things did not work out with Sara, she was the only woman for him. When they first met,he was attracted to her mind, but after a few words he realized how powerful was their physical attraction. He knew then, he could not forget Sara Sidle.

At the same time in another place, Sara was thinking about the conversation with Greg. He has been a good friend, simply waited for her to open up and tell her story. He did not judge her or looked at her with pity like everybody did in the past. She was relieved of a burden she carried for some time and it felt good to share it with someone other than Grissom.

Although Grissom's reaction was as good as it was possible, she always thought telling him was an error. The way he acted afterwards was the confirmation she needed to realize her mistake. Even if he did love her, she'd still let him down. She knew—better than anyone—what her parent's legacy was.

It was a good week for Sara. She needed a break from the lab and the time spent at the University was worth it. The last day of the conferences, she went to the Admissions Office to look up information about returning to school. She needed a diversion and this was her opportunity to accomplish one important goal she left unfinished: the PhD in Physics.

The Admissions officer spoke about the requirements; being very helpful. Sara sent all the documents needed for evaluation expecting an answer during the next week. For the first time in many years, she realized Grissom was not the center of her life. It felt good being herself again.


	9. Chapter 9

Grissom saw Sara driving her car out of the parking lot in a hurry. It was a slow night, thus he left on time. Sara was leaving punctually every day, no more overtime. He was sadly wondering where was Sara spending the mornings for the last two months.

He missed her. At nights, he would lie in bed thinking about the Sara he knew so well. He remembered her excited eyes when she found a clue to solve a case, her sense of humor, very similar to his, and her beautiful smile. He missed her voice, her smell. But most of all he missed her friendship. But he knew he was the one to blame for Sara's withdrawal from his life. He pushed her away and she left him.

He came back to reality at the sound of his phone. It was Brass asking for his help in a case at the local University. Grateful for the distraction and changing into professional mode, Grissom drove to the campus at UNLV.

She was in a completely different state of mind. Satisfied with the outcomes, Sara was happy to be a student again. Certainly, her memories about her first time as a student always came back to Grissom. She missed him and she was certain he missed her, too. In spite of that, she put those thoughts at the back of her mind remembering he made the decision to no longer be a part of her life.

Walking through the hall to her first class of the morning, she was surprised with a well known scene. The CSI tape around the entrance made her realized her secret was not safe anymore. Brass met her with a smile and started reciting the facts about the case.

"Brass, I am not working the case. Is Dr. Pattinson safe?" Sara said looking alarmed at the state of the classroom.

"Dr. Pattinson is fine and why are you here, then?" Brass was expecting her answer to his question when suddenly a familiar voice interrupted their conversation.

"Sara, I didn't call you to the scene."

Grissom's voice was cold and distant, but she wasn't surprised. She expected his reaction. Recently, he was very short with her, almost cruel. However, she understood where the animosity was coming from. She was treating him in the same way. It was her mechanism of defense to resist his advances. He wanted to talk to her, but she could not allowed Grissom to reel her on again. She was still vulnerable to his charming personality.

Instantly regretting his harsh tone, Grissom asked in a softer manner- why are you here?"

Sara looked at both of them pondering how she should answer the question. She decided to tell the truth, she wasn't hiding from anybody.

"I am a student here at UNLV". Sara defiantly responded.

Brass knew he should left both of them to sort the present situation, so he barked some orders to the agents at the crime scene and move the CSIs to the side, giving them some time to sort it.

Grissom caught her by the elbow pushing her softly to an empty office at the end of the hall. At the touch of his hand her body instantly reacted. Sara was sure he could hear the sizzle sound when they touched. But he didn't visibly react. Grissom's attitude made her sad. It was an agony to be near him and recognize how enormous was the distance separating them.

Meanwhile, Grissom was thinking how he was going to start the conversation with Sara when he heard Brass calling him back. Some CSIs from the morning shift have arrived at the scene making easy for Grissom to leave the area giving the opportunity to ask Sara to join him at a cafe near the university. Sara knew she had to explain herself to her boss, so she nodded accepting the invitation.

At the cafe, they sat awkwardly waiting for the other to say the first word. Grissom realized he had to talk and fast, if he wanted Sara to believe in his change of heart.

Sara felt the impact of his intense gaze and she warmed internally. His blue eyes were fill with something she couldn't explain, they seemed broken.

"I need to apologize, Sara. I wasn't expecting you at the crime scene and I overreacted. In fact, I was wondering why were you leaving on time every day and suddenly I'm hearing your confession admitting that you started studying again".

"Look Grissom, I know it's sudden, but after enjoying the conferences, I decided to enroll at the University to finish my PhD. I also wanted to take a break from all the drama at work, and this has been my diversion for the last two months."

"I can't be mad at you Sara. It's only that it feels you are keeping secrets from me when we were such good friends. I guess it's my fault you don't trust me anymore".

She thought his eyes were sad, and she felt suddenly sorry for him. He had stopped talking and his sad eyes were looking at her making her feel sad,too.

"Grissom, I don't know what to say. It's true that we were good friends, but that is in the past. Too many things happened between us, things that harmed our friendship without possibility of mending."

"I can't accept that everything between us has ended, Sara".

" There is nothing between us, Grissom".

" Then answer me, how can you stop loving someone?"


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as she heard his question, Sara's heart started to beat uncontrollably. How could he say those words? Sara was shocked because of the unfairness of the situation. He was saying the words she waited for so long to hear from him. However, she could not believe in him. He was playing with her once more.

Sara struggled with her emotions and regained her composure as she stood up gathering her things intending to leave the café. Grissom grabbed her right wrist firmly, while asking gently to sit down again. His sorrowful eyes pleaded with her to stay with him. He looked into her eyes and his heart wanted to explode with the longing he felt for her.

Sara was convinced she would have another disappointment, and yet she stayed.

"Why should I stay?" She looked up at him with great sadness in her eyes.

"Please, Sara, let me explain. I love you. I've always loved you, but I realized now that love is not enough to mend our relationship. I have hurt you so many times, and you have reasons to hate me. Please, accept my apology for being a fool."

His pleading look upset her so much, that her eyes filled with tears. Hearing him saying that he loves her was painful. Grissom's past actions had really hurt Sara's feelings, but his apology sounded so sincere that she couldn't help to admit it was a starting point in their relationship.

"I accept your apology, but I have to say that it is too late for us. I can't trust you anymore."

He gazed up at Sara and the acceptance in his blue eyes unsettled her.

"I'll receive whatever you are willing to give, Sara. And now, I have to ask you a favor. How about we start mending our friendship. Could you be my friend again?"

" I will," she said.

They were good friends once, and she couldn't help but think that it was all they could be. She will be fine; she could be his friend, nothing else. She needed to face the fact that despite her hopelessly unrealistic expectations, they will never be together.

After hearing her answer, he knew she accepted his offer and forgave him for the hurt of the past years. However bad things seemed at the moment, he was certain they would get better. Sara was his true love, he was sure one day they would be together despite the heartache he caused her.

 **Four weeks later**

Greg and Sara were absorbed in their work, sorting and analyzing evidence, when Grissom stopped at the entrance of the evidence room. He stopped for a moment to watch Sara's work. It was a guilty pleasure for him.

"Hey, who wants to go to breakfast?", he asked willing to surprise Sara enough to accept his invitation.

Greg answered immediately, unaware he was helping Grissom with his intromission.

" Yes, I am starving, my blood sugar is in the lowest."

Sara maintained her face down giving the impression she was working, but in reality she was distracted by Grissom's appearance. He looked so good in those jeans.

" Greg, you are always starving. What about you, Sara?"

She looked up to Grissom answering shortly with a "Yes, I am in".

"Well, I'll see you in an hour." Grissom walked out surprising Sara with a wink before he left the room. She couldn't help but smile at his boldness.

Greg gave her a questioning look, but she make light of their interaction redirecting the conversation to work.

Since their conversation a month ago, things were starting to change between Grissom and Sara. He was more attentive and respectful with her, accepting her ideas and working with her on different assignments. Also, he asked frequently about her classes. Sara was beginning to think that it was possible to be friends again.

At the diner, Sara and Greg were there waiting for Grissom. He came into their vision, but he wasn't alone. Sofia Curtis was there talking animatedly with him.

They seated across each other; Sofia next to Greg and Grissom next to Sara. The awkwardness Sara felt when she saw Sofia, was slowly disappearing as they began talking about her new work and sharing experiences. Sofia was funny and friendly. It was a good reunion, they needed it. She realized she had misjudged Grissom.

At one moment he looked at Sara, noticing the spark in her eyes when she was smiling. She was enjoying the company and it made him feel good. He wanted Sara to know Sofia outside of work because it was the only way she would believe that Sofia was simply a friend to him.

Greg left the diner with Sofia an hour later, leaving Grissom and Sara alone to enjoy their last coffee of the morning.

Then Grissom made his move; with a look of tenderness in his eyes, he ran his hand softly through Sara's hair.

"I want you to know how important you are to me. ... In the past, I've felt powerless to say anything, but now I realize that you're much too important in my life for me to not try to mend our relationship. ... Our friendship has meant a great deal to me over the years, and the last thing I want to do is to ruin it."

"Griss, I want to apologize…"

" You don't have to say anything, Sara. Everything was my fault since I didn't explain my intentions to you and Sofia as well. I messed up."

Sara heard his words. Her eyes filled with tears and she let them slide down her face. She believed Grissom's words to be true. She was beginning to see changes in Grissom's behavior, small steps to repair their friendship.

He pulled her body into his, and locking his arm around her, he whispered into her hair, "I will never let you go, not unless you ask me to".

"

"


End file.
